Wow oh wow wow

I would have never expected to weigh myself this morning on day 2 to find I have lost 10 lbs of water weight.  That is 10 pounds and definitely excited about this.  I am also 1 week off of steroids as well and while I do hurt it is still bearable.  More to come later.

Later...

Okay, so forget about bearable.  Something isn't quite right.  I perform a mild to moderate workout at the gym and the longer I am there, mind you I was only there for 1 hour, the worse I am starting to feel.  I am more tired and feeling overheated yet not sweating very much.  When I went home walking was nearly impossible.  I felt as if I had turned to stone all of my muscle were so tight.  I felt weird, and my joints were all killing me.  I even stretched before and after.  I have made sure there was ample protein in my diet and nutrition wise I should be good.  So, what gives?   Suffice to say a muscle relaxer and tylenol are going back into my regimen for now.  However, I will still continue to juice as there must still be other benefits than detoxification. 

same day

So I think I am feeling the first stages of detoxification from juicing on top of the hunger.  Yet, no cravings.  I do have a headache but usually have a few of those a week so it may not be related. Slept pretty darn well last night.  Cleaned house this am instead of going right back to bed.  Positives are on the horizon.

2/6/2012

Whether the weather be cold or

Whether the weather be hot,

Whether the weather be fine or

Whether the weather be not,

We’ll weather the weather,

Whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not!

2/6/2012

I have been quite excited to start blogging and have considered doing this for a long time.  We all have so much to say but some of us just don't realize it. With each thought, action, or symptom there is a story.  The way you feel today is a side effect of yesterday.  This can be applied anywhere in your life.  Think about it.  What I ate yesterday caused me to feel run down and tired today.    The poem above is one that my son's class recites at the end of  everyday.  It has inspired me and made me realize that no matter how tough I thought all those days in the past were  I weathered that storm and made it to another day.  I had a rough couple of weeks.  A lot of pain and strong feelings of defeat.  You see, I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis and recently have found out that I have a huge deductible which I can't afford.  I researched groups and assistance programs only to find out I am on that border where the working poor gets neglected.  I started feeling as if I was not the parent I had be striving to become because I am not able to afford insurance any longer and what happens if my son were to become ill?  I work and pay so much money into the insurance and I can't use it.  Why have it?  Well, after struggling through a few days of a near emotional and physical breakdown I decided that I need to change a few things.  For now I will keep paying into the insurance that I can't use, mostly because I have no other choice.  I have also decided to make an extreme change in my lifestyle starting with food.  I started a juice fast today to help remove toxins from my body, rejuvenate my being, and hopefully to stop taking all or most of my medications for rheumatoid arthritis and maybe eventually for blood pressure too.  That way I won't have to rely on medications to survive.   Does anyone have any idea how much it costs to juice?  It is ridiculous.  Today I spent 40 dollars on fruits and veggies that will last me all of 5-6 days if I am lucky.  Come spring I hope that this cost will decrease some with markets and produce stands popping up.  I will utilize these as it helps to promote our local agriculture.  I still think it is sad though that the working poor suffer significant decline in their household budgets to eat healthy.  I could have bought 1-2 weeks of prepackaged meals and "junk food" for that price.  Even so, I will push through this for however long I can manage and hopefully lose a significant amount of weight.  I will be adding lean fish and egg whites however, because otherwise I don't think I would have the energy to combat the gym.  Yes, I have a membership and up to 2 weeks ago I was lifting weights and making my heart pound for 1-2 hours 4-5 days per week.  Did I lose any weight after 6 months of this?  Nope, not one pound but I am stronger but still hard to look at in the mirror.  Pain levels have been quite high for the last couple of weeks and even though I know that keeping moving helps it is really hard to even consider when getting out of bed can result in a fall or leave you crawling to use the bathroom.  I am starting to realize that work is getting harder too.  People and myself have been accommodating but how fair is that?  Squatting or getting up from being on the floor is a challenge to say the least and if I am lucky I can continue to walk when I get up but sometimes, as a result of swelling around the tendons, fluid retention and joint misalignment I can't take that first step for a few minutes.  It is quite interesting trying to finagle a story as to why I am still standing in the same spot after everyone else has already started something else.  I do think that most people see me as a fat lazy person who only hurts because of my weight.  In some cases I wish this was true because at least then I know that relief could be in sight.  I should have added angry to that.  I do seem angry or grumpy a lot.  It doesn't necessarily mean that I am but this is how it comes off.  It is tough to put on a smile everyday when your thinking about ways to remove your own feet or hands depending on the moment.  It is not easy to be chipper when you begin to realize that your body is failing and at the end of the day you just can't take one more minute.  My hope is that all of this will change.  With juicing there may be significant improvement in autoimmune issues.  I am going to remain positive and hope that this is the case with me too.  I sure could use a break and a new start.  So here's to me and you and this new blog.  I have no idea what my overall intentions of this are but for now it will be more of a progress report on how the juicing is working and how it makes me feel.  It could end up being my life story from beginning to not quite the end.  We shall see where my fingers take me.  Hmm.................... until the next time.  Namaste